Resting Bitch Face

I recently heard this rather charming expression.  Apparently it’s what someone looks like when they are simply sitting and doing nothing much.  Thinking, gazing into space, reading, writing or walking around town.  In short, anything that doesn’t involve interaction with another person.

It’s how you are generally perceived.

Ever wondered why people steer clear of you? Blame resting bitch face.

Ever wondered why people don’t hold doors open for you?  Resting bitch face strikes again.

“I have one,” my beautiful youngest daughter informed me the other night after she had told me what it meant.  (She really doesn’t!)

I, however, apparently do.

She took a photo of me when we were away recently.  An off-guard photo.  I downloaded it last night (and NO! it’s not going up on here!) and I could only stare in wonder at who this crabby person was looking back at me.  Do I really look like that to other people?

Sadly, I probably do.

I think it’s an age thing.  As we get older, everything starts to – how do I put this delicately?  Ah heck, I may as well just get stuck in – everything starts to sink.  Including faces.  Those jowls you see on an older person?  Sinkage!  Saggy eyelids?  Sinkage! And where the hell has my bum gone? Yes, that’s been a victim of sinkage too.  Quick, give me a massive paper bag now!

I don’t care what anyone says – if you’ve got a natural resting bitch face there’s no amount of creams, lotions or potions that are going to fix it.  Massage might help a bit I suppose, for a short time at least, but make no mistake – within an hour or so you’ll be back to normal, no matter what you’re promised.  I suppose Botox may help, if you’re a fan of having poison shoved into you (and have the money to maintain it,) and a face-lift could do the trick (again, money permitting and as long as you don’t end up looking like a Stepford Wife or worse – a couple of people spring to mind here, but my sagging lips are sealed!)

As for me, well, if you ever meet me and I look miserable and unapproachable – blame it on Resting Bitch Face.  I’m actually ok, once I locate the musculature to raise a smile.

You can help me practice by taking a look at my book (and maybe buying a copy.)  The Seelie Princess – it’s for older kids and it’s rather fab (and it contributed to my RBF!)

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