The Deaf, Warm, Duck (and other misunderstandings)

When I was a kid and feeling under the weather, my mother used to tell me I looked like a deaf, warm, duck. I never queried it – in my head a tiny little duck, wearing a woolly hat, waddled to and fro’ our local brook – and it always made me feel better. Just as well, really. When I grew up, I realised I had misheard her – she was actually saying I looked like death, warmed up.

I was reminded of this today when my friend told me she needed to nip into the chemist. “I want suppose it is’s,” she cheerfully said.

“Suppose what is?” I asked, thinking it was some kind of gift she wanted to give someone (seeing as we were Christmas shopping).

“You know what I mean,” she said, nudging me in the ribs.

“Sorry, nope. I really don’t.” Was my normally sedate friend buying something a little naughty perhaps?

She blushed profusely. “You know, what you shove up your bum when you’ve got piles.” (That’s hemorrhoids, to you across the pond.)

She meant suppositories. I didn’t ask who was going to be on the, ahem, receiving end of them, but as she was walking a bit tenderly, I suspect I know.

My daughter always thought there was a place called Bomb-sit. That’s down to me yelling, “Your room looks like a bomb’s hit,” my way of asking her to tidy it up.

Recently, a kid I know told me he wanted a ‘Git-hard’ for Christmas. I puzzled over that one for a while, until another kid told me he meant he wanted a guitar.

Ah, the English language! Let me know anything you’ve misheard…

Back to Writing

I’ve been so busy promoting other people’s work, editing, proofing (and completing the day job) that I failed to realise I haven’t posted anything about what I’m writing in a while.

Yes, I am still writing, in fact I have several on the go, but the one I’ve been asked to concentrate on is more in the vein of ‘Nan Nose Best’ in that it’s got romance, heartbreak, babies and comedy, all under one roof.

The characters are endearing, the story is realistic (in that this stuff could happen…) and you’ll (I hope) be rooting for Jenny to come out on top by the end.

I’m having a ball writing it and I hope you’ll enjoy it when it comes out, just in time for Valentine’s Day next year.

Here’s a sneaky look at a possible cover…

Free Fall (8)

If you’d like to read any of my other books in the meantime, please follow the links and make an author happy by buying one!



‘Til next time – take care,